A TATTERED CHILD: WHERE ARE WE GOING WRONG WITH OUR CHILDREN

 

To parents who think teachers aren't doing enough

What can teachers do?

If we advise lovingly, they won't learn; if we scold them it's harassment, if we pull their ears it's manhandling; if we whip it's corporal punishment if we yell, it is bullying! Making children learn, to complete home works, bring notes and texts to class, and even to make them wear Gho well is becoming a tiresome effort. School disciplining is not like some decades ago, it is not like during my time. Parents can only assume they know!

We have had stories of parents questioning, charging and dragging teachers to court for anything less than humiliation as well. There was an incident where even a principal was attacked by students. Teachers are expected to discipline in a child-friendly way, through positive discipline strategies. This isn't easy when a classroom is crowd and cases are only increasing.

Teachers today smile and say...' Boy, don't do it again. It's against the law..' Our precious time is given to counseling them like parents. We cannot penalise a child. If we make them stand outside the class it's deprivation, if we make them cut grass it is unwise, if we make them clean their surrounding,they miss class, any tasks outside class is seen as demeaning labour, If we make them do assignment they won't do on time and teachers will have to get after one and lose track of others.

Some people say that a youth delinquent in the street, a criminal in town, a loiterer on the roads are failures of school. Really? Tell us how can drug peddlers be schools failure, when schools are doing everything within the limitation to discipline.

Are parents not failing instead from the very beginning? Some children are distraught sons and daughters from broken homes, drunken parents, separated parents, single parents, aggressive parents, and protective and pampering situations at home. When a child's morality and values are fractured from home, behaviour indecent from home, how can school be blamed for delinquents in the street? What parents cannot give themselves from home is expected from a teacher to transform every child in school to become the learned and disciplined child.

Parents, don't you use derogatory words at home; your child uses them at school? Don't you send children to buy beer for your guests; your son drinks on weekends? Don't you display aggressive manners to children and spouses at home; your child is involved in a fight? Don't you lavish makeups and dress like Koreans; your daughter attracts attention at school? Don't you buy pizzas and toys of their choice for gifts; your children denies to read books? Don't you make negative remarks about neighbours and teachers; children ridicule and defame their friends at school? Don't you give money instead of time; your child will have to seek friends who can spoil them? Don't you leave children alone at home while you go for cards, archery and parties; your child becomes gullible to peer influences? Parents, fracture in behaviour and thought begins at home, and you are responsible more than a teacher. ,Do we know who our children's best friends are and where they go when not home? Are we not substituting parental time and bondage with money, playthings, mobile phones, television and uncontrolled freedom?

Compare the complexity in a classroom of children to two children at your home. If you as a parent is unable to maintain the balance of love and guidance, discipline and joy the way a child aspires, how justifiable is your expectation for hundreds of children to change in a school? Our ministries and other agencies put in place many programmes to help children change in their behaviour and learning, and schools do everything within their capacity to help a child realize outcomes of theor future.

What can teachers do to heal a wound that begins and worsen from a home?

Against all odds, inspite of teaching their subjects, teachers battle to model with advice, reminders and often reprimands for the offenders. Teachers give them home through creative activities in class and outside, time for bondage and communication, games and exercises, time to sing and dance, to draw and debate. Teachers sit and talk during recess and after school hours, guide in study hours and substitution classes, and a myriad of ways to fill the gap and heal the wounds parents gave our children. While most parents are great parents, some need to train in parenting skills to nurture graduates from home.

I think teachers have enough on their platter. Apart from trying to correct student behaviour , teachers have huge academic planning to do, loads of assessment, teaching aids preparation, meetings to attend, cocurricular activities to conduct, and many agenda to fulfill. Teachers need to fulfill mandates from the ministery, dzongkhag, and many agencies that are mandate requirements.

I will not question my son's teachers if my son came home late, if he displays wrong behaviour, bring sickly test marks, if he bunk classes, if he don't pick reading habits but delves into hours of mobile games or videogames, and even if he hits a friend. I think I and my wife will be responsible for what he fails and what he wins. There is something going wrong here at home if my son is trouble now or in the future.

Teachers are not moral and professional sewing machines to perfect what was constantly tattered at home. If parents are good tailors at home, teachers' are machines that can sew some torn characters.

Teachers do as much as they can, even much beyond the remuneration they receive, because they are those who cannot act deaf and dumb like people who would only complain and blame what they see, hear or think is wrong. A teacher's selflessness and sacrifices cannot be equaled in any student's weight of gold.

Dear parents, should we not work together actively participating in raising your daughter here at school?

Namgyal Tshering, Principal, Dechentsemo Central School.